Prayer for her.

Devine Goddess,

Please, for the sake of the innocent children in her life whom love her and her child here as well as in the summerland, help Anne heal and make her life anew. Allow her to fill herself with positive light. Allow white energy to flow over her.

Thank you for my children, they're health, happiness and love. Thank you for the ability for me to spend so much time with them and for the moments when it is at though there is nothing but me and my family.

Thank you for my sisters, for bringing me to this new circle and allowing me to befriend such like minded individuals. With them I feel where I belong, as though nothing I could say would be judged, where I gain knowledge with each meet. Allow me this sense of belonging for our ritual.

I ask you again, as I cannot think of much else, please help Laurier, Anne and all of us effected find the strength, the positive light in this. Allow her heart to be at peace and mend.

So many night I was at peace in my sleep with just trivial dreams but I fear for her from the ones I have had these last few days, I fear for her family.

As if harm none, so mote it be.

Blessed be.

Goddess, I ask for your devine intervetion.

My poor Charlotte is just miserable. She keeps getting sicker. All I want is for her health. Her happiness. Her well-being. For it to be restored. Guide me to the right direction to help her. Fast. I fear for her. She is so young, so small. I thank you for giving us her, this precious gift, but she is so sad, and so sick. I feel there is something more. Please help us find a cure, something natural, something that works and does not make her worse. Thank you for the health of my older children, myself as much as it is, and my husband. Help us all through this.

Pediatrician fail.

They failed Charlotte that is.

2 1/2 weeks of fevers, 2 weeks of not eating or drinking (nursing only) and discolored urine for almost a week at random and they finally call and say she's got a UTI today and needs antibiotics. I told them something was wrong. Why did they not rush the results of her urinalasys after the first week? Total dissapointment in them. Amber ancklet helped her appitite so maybe the combo is what made her so utterly miserable. teething and a UTI. My poor little love.

Now if only we would get more help for Rose's disorder, figure out what is wrong with Darien and get help for him and I could alter my brain waves to figure out how to reconnect with my family as well as I have in the passed, especially my husband. I feel miles away from him these days... it's effecting how we are as a couple, how we parent and how we present ourselves.

Help her, Goddess

Thank you for these glorious first days of spring. The sunshine, the amazing tempratures, even our older children are enjoying it. Thank you for their health, for their improvements, their happiness. Thank you for the gift of knowledge and for allowing me to share it, for allowing me to gain it and allowing others to receive and share it as well. Thank you for leading us to help for our lives, to enrich our lives.

Please, please, help us with our baby girl. Help us find out what is wrong with her tiny body. Help us find the source of her fevers, why she will not eat, why she is suddenly so different in demenor and temperment, what is causing her so much pain? I miss my happy, go-luck baby, I miss her constant giggles. We saw a glimpse of her today. Between the constant nursing and fussing, the refusal to eat at dinner... and she finally didn't cry at bathtime, that's so good, she loves her baths. Please let this be a sign of things to come.

Bring on summer!

Today I saw a whole new side of family life. A good side. A wonderful side. My children listened better then they have in months, enjoyed themselves, were happy go-lucky children that they are suppose to be. There was structure in the day, there was a set expectation, there was routine, there was activity, and there was give-and-take. There was sunshine, there was fresh air, and there was healthy choices. And the results, especially in Rose, were amazing. It was not perfect. Rose had a few minor tantrums and it took her a long time to go to sleep at bedtime. And she fell the last time we went to the park and got covered in mud. But instead of freaking out about it, I let it go, since we were leaving to go back home, and she was going to have her bath. Darien had a couple crying fits. But nothing that was not too resolvable with just ignoring it. Charlotte had an amazing day. She is so smart, she is already more co-ordinated and fearless too. And she made a new little friend today. It was so cute seeing her with a little girl about her age, she was a couple months older but smaller, and about the same level. They were doing the same things, lol.

I just wish I could end the day with going to bed with my husband, having a nice chat alone with him, snuggling and showing him effection. But we're so off in our own minds. I can tell the job-hunt is making him start to feel less of a man again, depressed maybe even. I am crossing my fingers one of the jobs calls tomorrow and says they would like to hire him or the one we're suppose to go to in Ottawa on Tuesday does. He needs this. We all need this. As much as at times I enjoy him being home. I also need my time away from him. And I know I'll be working non-stop in a month or hopefully earlier but even if he can get a job from now until say June... until mine is really up and running... he needs this, really, now.

Night Prayer to the Goddess

Goddess,

I thank you for the blessings plenty I received today. The wonderful sun and warmth. For allowing me to enjoy it with my family. Oh how we enjoyed it. I have never seen such joy in their faces, last so long as today's. It was amazing, truely how I wish for us to be every single day. The fresh air seems to do wonders with my family, with my children especially. The sunlight and the breeze and the wonderful air. Thank you for all the wonderful things you gave us today. Please allow us this joy tomorrow. Allow Darien to have a healthy appointment. Allow Rose to enjoy herself and not have inner turmoil. Allow Charlotte to have a day of security, happiness and be painless. Allow Chris to get a call saying he got one of the jobs he got, that he enjoys it, that he stays at it long and does well.

Blessed Be

Circle

Our circle met tonight and though it has only been the second time, I feel soo connected to most of them already. It is amazing what a spiritual connection brings forth. We're all of different backgrounds and ages but share this one religious connection and have become friends, some even close enough to be family to each other. Like we have been looking for eachother our whole lives yet have been right there in front of each other. It's something I cannot say for most of my day to day friends. There are the few I am this close to who have been part of my life forever and a day. But most have come and gone.  I feel like this group of women are the forever and a day kind.

Thank you my lovely Goddess, for bringing us together, here and now in this time in our lives.

I seriously think there is something making us sick in this house. I was fine the whole time I was out. I am back 10 minutes and cannot use one nostril. I had to crack my window when I got in the bedroom. My  throat is scratchy even so. Maybe I'm just allergic to this city. I have never been so sick with allergies and colds as I have been living here.

Speaking of, Darien's asthma was triggered big time by the throat infection he just got over as he has been coughing since. Back on flo-vent we go.